Did you take your Pepto Bismol before pulling up this article? Good, because we are about to talk about a degenerate debacle of a decklist.

Mono-blue is home to a whole rogues' gallery of disgusting abilities, including counterspells, card draw and theft. While these are incredibly high on the salt scale, today we're building around one of blue's most hated abilities: mill.

Mill is a theme with a vast pool of commanders to pull from, including Oona, Queen of the Fae and Phenax, God of Deception. However, with the release of Jumpstart came a new contender for the Mill Medal.

Ready your barf bag, because now we can make our opponents mill twice as much!

Advisors Aren't the New Rats

When building this deck, one question kept popping up: "Are you going to build Persistent Petitioners?" My darling deck builders, I'm afraid the answer is no. While Petitioners is an incredibly strong choice for Bruvac, it's also one that is expected and I wanted to try something in the realm of the unexpected.

Petitioners are equivalent to Relentless Rats builds of Marrow-Gnawer. It makes complete sense to run as many of those cards as possible in a build like that (the same goes for mill, in this situation), however, reading about a deck tech that runs 26 of the same creatures is not as fun as one that chooses a different path.

But I did add one Petitioner to be a bit cheeky.

Let's Mill It Over

How do we build a Mill deck? Milling is an incredibly passive theme. We rarely make physical contact with our opponents in terms of combat damage, and yet we are directly impacting how they play by casting spells, drawing cards and tapping artifacts. So, let's Mill it over, starting with enchantments.

This particular list is packed full of powerful enchantments. Psychic Corrosion, Sphinx's Tutelage and Teferi's Tutelage are strong enchantments that mill whenever we draw a card. However, we also want cards that punish our opponents for casting spells and whenever we cast spells. Enter in Drowned Secrets and Memory Erosion. These two enchantments are incredibly potent in this deck due to the fact that the spell (ours or our opponent's) doesn't even have to resolve to trigger the ability. 

Sickening Spell Slinging

Betcha can't say that three times in a row, huh? A blue deck wouldn't be complete without slinging some spells. While this deck is chock full of bounce, removal and counterspells, let's focus on some of the nastier, mill-oriented instants and sorceries.

Let's begin with Startled Awake. This sorcery-creature combo is a casual way to have opponents continuously mill 13 (26 thanks to badass Bruvac the Grandiloquent). While there are a few ways to cast instants and sorceries from our graveyard, Startled Awake has the ability to be cast from the graveyard to become a creature before ultimately returning back to our hand after combat damage has been dealt. Continuously milling 26 cards will definitely get old, and eventually lethal, to your desired target.

Next we have Increasing Confusion. Have I ever told y'all how much I love flashback? Because I looooooooooooove flashback. Thanks to Bruvac the Grandiloquent, the initial cast inflicts double the mill. A potent mana sink spell on its own, flashing this bad boy back quadruples our malicious milling and will definitely leave a bad taste in other players' mouths.

Lastly we have Rise from the Tides. Do not let this spell's converted mana cost intimidate you (it intimidated me when I first saw it). This card is a great way to help generate blockers if you are unable to locate Propaganda or a Silent Arbiter. At its strongest, Rise has the ability to create 21 2/2 Zombie creature tokens. Generating ways to protect yourself while playing such a salt-inducing theme is imperative. Worried about not fully utilizing this sorcery's potential? Don't worry! You can cast it again with cards like Spelltwine or Torrential Gearhulk.

Stop Copying Me

Mill is such a degenerate ability in Magic that once Bruvac the Grandiloquent hits the table, a target is immediately painted on your back. Since we are only limited to one color, options are a bit limited as to what we can do to protect ourselves. Sure, we have unlimited access to potent counterspells, however, those can only do so much. However, copying our own things can prove to be pretty impactful on the boardstate.

Estrid's Invocation and Mirrormade are here to either help speed along our milling, or protect us from attacks. Copying Propaganda with either one or both can hinder opponents while shielding us from a rapid-fire assault. If you want to be more aggressive, you can use both to copy Drowned Secrets, Rhystic Study or Sphinx's Tutelage.

What if I told you that you could have two Bruvac the Grandiloquent at once? No, this isn't one of my wacky Rule 0 experiments. Spark Double copying Bruvac turns a thorn into a knife in your opponent's side. What began as double mill turns into quadruple mill. Grab your barf bag now. You didn't pack one? Oh no….

Magic: The Gathering TCG Deck - Grandmilloquent by Chase Carroll

'Grandmilloquent' - constructed deck list and prices for the Magic: The Gathering Trading Card Game from TCGplayer Infinite!

Created By: Chase Carroll

Event:

Rank:

Commander

Market Price: $430.51

Cards

Mirage Mirror

Market Price: $5.36

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/134930_200w.jpg

{2}: Mirage Mirror becomes a copy of target artifact, creature, enchantment, or land until end of turn.

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Cyclonic Rift

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $17.65

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/218370_200w.jpg

Return target nonland permanent you don't control to its owner's hand.
Overload {6}{U} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change its text by replacing all instances of "target" with "each.")

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Disallow

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $4.72

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/126406_200w.jpg

Counter target spell, activated ability, or triggered ability. (Mana abilities can't be targeted.)

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Spark Double

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $4.36

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/188468_200w.jpg

You may have Spark Double enter the battlefield as a copy of a creature or planeswalker you control, except it enters with an additional +1/+1 counter on it if it's a creature, it enters with an additional loyalty counter on it if it's a planeswalker, and it isn't legendary if that permanent is legendary.

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Hedron Crab

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $5.50

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/33322_200w.jpg

Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, target player mills three cards.

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Fascination

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.20

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/95380_200w.jpg

Choose one —
• Each player draws X cards.
• Each player mills X cards.

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Tormod's Crypt

Market Price: $0.18

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/215346_200w.jpg

{T}, Sacrifice Tormod's Crypt: Exile all cards from target player's graveyard.

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Rapid Hybridization

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $2.82

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/108021_200w.jpg

Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated. That creature's controller creates a 3/3 green Frog Lizard creature token.

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Fleet Swallower

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.95

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/145637_200w.jpg

Whenever Fleet Swallower attacks, target player mills half their library, rounded up.

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Riddlekeeper

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $2.37

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/166921_200w.jpg

Whenever a creature attacks you or a planeswalker you control, that creature's controller mills two cards.

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Jace, Vryn's Prodigy // Jace, Telepath Unbound

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $17.99

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/100191_200w.jpg

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card. If there are five or more cards in your graveyard, exile Jace, Vryn's Prodigy, then return him to the battlefield transformed under his owner's control.

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Castle Vantress

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.55

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/199284_200w.jpg

Castle Vantress enters the battlefield tapped unless you control an Island.
{T}: Add {U}.
{2}{U}{U}, {T}: Scry 2.

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Scavenger Grounds

Market Price: $0.91

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/212458_200w.jpg

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice a Desert: Exile all cards from all graveyards.

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Sphinx Mindbreaker

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.33

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/206246_200w.jpg

Flying
When Sphinx Mindbreaker enters the battlefield, each opponent mills ten cards.

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Spelltwine

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.30

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/140041_200w.jpg

Exile target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard and target instant or sorcery card from an opponent's graveyard. Copy those cards. Cast the copies if able without paying their mana costs. Exile Spelltwine.

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Grindstone

Market Price: $17.00

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/5576_200w.jpg

{3}, {T}: Target player mills two cards. If two cards that share a color were milled this way, repeat this process.

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Mikokoro, Center of the Sea

Market Price: $4.97

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/161484_200w.jpg

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Each player draws a card.

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Propaganda

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $4.17

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/212386_200w.jpg

Creatures can't attack you unless their controller pays {2} for each creature they control that's attacking you.

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Estrid's Invocation

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $6.59

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/170954_200w.jpg

You may have Estrid's Invocation enter the battlefield as a copy of an enchantment you control, except it has "At the beginning of your upkeep, you may exile this enchantment. If you do, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control."

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Shipwreck Dowser

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.03

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/215463_200w.jpg

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)
When Shipwreck Dowser enters the battlefield, return target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard to your hand.

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Increasing Confusion

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.32

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/57598_200w.jpg

Target player mills X cards. If this spell was cast from a graveyard, that player mills twice that many cards instead.
Flashback {X}{U} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

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Rise from the Tides

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.24

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/180988_200w.jpg

Create a tapped 2/2 black Zombie creature token for each instant and sorcery card in your graveyard.

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Vantress Gargoyle

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.46

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/199034_200w.jpg

Flying
Vantress Gargoyle can't attack unless defending player has seven or more cards in their graveyard.
Vantress Gargoyle can't block unless you have four or more cards in hand.
{T}: Each player mills a card.

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Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx

Market Price: $22.36

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/222763_200w.jpg

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Choose a color. Add an amount of mana of that color equal to your devotion to that color. (Your devotion to a color is the number of mana symbols of that color in the mana costs of permanents you control.)

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Fraying Sanity

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $6.10

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/135012_200w.jpg

Enchant player
At the beginning of each end step, enchanted player mills X cards, where X is the number of cards put into their graveyard from anywhere this turn.

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Sublime Epiphany

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.74

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/215698_200w.jpg

Choose one or more —
• Counter target spell.
• Counter target activated or triggered ability.
• Return target nonland permanent to its owner's hand.
• Create a token that's a copy of target creature you control.
• Target player draws a card.

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Trickbind

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $6.67

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/14406_200w.jpg

Split second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't cast spells or activate abilities that aren't mana abilities.)
Counter target activated or triggered ability. If a permanent's ability is countered this way, activated abilities of that permanent can't be activated this turn. (Mana abilities can't be targeted.)

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Sanity Grinding

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $2.48

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/27193_200w.jpg

Chroma — Reveal the top ten cards of your library. For each blue mana symbol in the mana costs of the revealed cards, target opponent mills a card. Then put the cards you revealed this way on the bottom of your library in any order.

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Sands of Delirium

Market Price: $0.99

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/59808_200w.jpg

{X}, {T}: Target player mills X cards.

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Soul-Guide Lantern

Market Price: $2.07

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/206867_200w.jpg

When Soul-Guide Lantern enters the battlefield, exile target card from a graveyard.
{T}, Sacrifice Soul-Guide Lantern: Exile each opponent's graveyard.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Soul-Guide Lantern: Draw a card.

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Dictate of Kruphix

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.03

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/171038_200w.jpg

Flash
At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws an additional card.

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Bruvac the Grandiloquent

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $45.03

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/216530_200w.jpg

If an opponent would mill one or more cards, they mill twice that many cards instead. (To mill a card, a player puts the top card of their library into their graveyard.)

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Thought Collapse

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.35

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/216527_200w.jpg

Counter target spell. Its controller mills three cards.

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Snow-Covered Island

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.78

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/190649_200w.jpg

({T}: Add {U}.)

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Didn't Say Please

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.18

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/199508_200w.jpg

Counter target spell. Its controller mills three cards.

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Jace, Memory Adept

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $5.73

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/69875_200w.jpg

+1: Draw a card. Target player mills a card.
0: Target player mills ten cards.
−7: Any number of target players each draw twenty cards.

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Startled Awake // Persistent Nightmare

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $2.45

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/115284_200w.jpg

Target opponent mills thirteen cards.
{3}{U}{U}: Put Startled Awake from your graveyard onto the battlefield transformed. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.

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Psychic Corrosion

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $3.94

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/169342_200w.jpg

Whenever you draw a card, each opponent mills two cards.

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Rhystic Study

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $25.06

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/216235_200w.jpg

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may draw a card unless that player pays {1}.

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High Tide

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.60

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/3667_200w.jpg

Until end of turn, whenever a player taps an Island for mana, that player adds an additional {U}.

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Sphinx's Tutelage

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.63

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/100041_200w.jpg

Whenever you draw a card, target opponent mills two cards. If two nonland cards that share a color were milled this way, repeat this process.
{5}{U}: Draw a card, then discard a card.

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Psychic Spiral

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.24

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/66501_200w.jpg

Shuffle all cards from your graveyard into your library. Target player mills that many cards.

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Blue Sun's Zenith

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $2.62

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/161468_200w.jpg

Target player draws X cards. Shuffle Blue Sun's Zenith into its owner's library.

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Mind Stone

Market Price: $1.06

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/222590_200w.jpg

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

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Ambassador Laquatus

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.24

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/15030_200w.jpg

{3}: Target player mills three cards.

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Sapphire Medallion

Market Price: $18.32

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/94431_200w.jpg

Blue spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

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Torrential Gearhulk

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $4.00

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/122703_200w.jpg

Flash
When Torrential Gearhulk enters the battlefield, you may cast target instant card from your graveyard without paying its mana cost. If that spell would be put into your graveyard this turn, exile it instead.

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Memory Erosion

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.91

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/168264_200w.jpg

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, that player mills two cards.

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Counterspell

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.01

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/227096_200w.jpg

Counter target spell.

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Countermand

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.13

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/82329_200w.jpg

Counter target spell. Its controller mills four cards.

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Archive Trap

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $22.65

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/33250_200w.jpg

If an opponent searched their library this turn, you may pay {0} rather than pay this spell's mana cost.
Target opponent mills thirteen cards.

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Mystic Sanctuary

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.63

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/199417_200w.jpg

({T}: Add {U}.)
Mystic Sanctuary enters the battlefield tapped unless you control three or more other Islands.
When Mystic Sanctuary enters the battlefield untapped, you may put target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard on top of your library.

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Patient Rebuilding

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.50

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/168451_200w.jpg

At the beginning of your upkeep, target opponent mills three cards, then you draw a card for each land card put into their graveyard this way.

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Ipnu Rivulet

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.17

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/135090_200w.jpg

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Pay 1 life: Add {U}.
{1}{U}, {T}, Sacrifice a Desert: Target player mills four cards.

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Pongify

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.21

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/219576_200w.jpg

Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated. Its controller creates a 3/3 green Ape creature token.

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Folio of Fancies

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.50

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/199019_200w.jpg

Players have no maximum hand size.
{X}{X}, {T}: Each player draws X cards.
{2}{U}, {T}: Each opponent mills cards equal to the number of cards in their hand.

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Altar of the Brood

Market Price: $3.31

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/93190_200w.jpg

Whenever another permanent enters the battlefield under your control, each opponent mills a card.

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Teferi's Tutelage

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.40

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/215365_200w.jpg

When Teferi's Tutelage enters the battlefield, draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever you draw a card, target opponent mills two cards. (They put the top two cards of their library into their graveyard.)

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Persistent Petitioners

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.07

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/183310_200w.jpg

{1}, {T}: Target player mills a card.
Tap four untapped Advisors you control: Target player mills twelve cards.
A deck can have any number of cards named Persistent Petitioners.

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Mystical Tutor

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $19.49

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/118447_200w.jpg

Search your library for an instant or sorcery card and reveal that card. Shuffle your library, then put the card on top of it.

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Geier Reach Sanitarium

Market Price: $0.90

ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/196744_200w.jpg

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Each player draws a card, then discards a card.

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Mesmeric Orb

Market Price: $6.27

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Whenever a permanent becomes untapped, that permanent's controller mills a card.

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Inundate

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $4.03

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Return all nonblue creatures to their owners' hands.

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Snapcaster Mage

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $34.76

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Flash
When Snapcaster Mage enters the battlefield, target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard gains flashback until end of turn. The flashback cost is equal to its mana cost. (You may cast that card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

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Drowned Secrets

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.08

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Whenever you cast a blue spell, target player mills two cards.

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Traumatize

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $3.61

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Target player mills half their library, rounded down.

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Stitcher Geralf

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.92

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{2}{U}, {T}: Each player mills three cards. Exile up to two creature cards put into graveyards this way. Create an X/X blue Zombie creature token, where X is the total power of the cards exiled this way.

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Silent Arbiter

Market Price: $0.82

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No more than one creature can attack each combat.
No more than one creature can block each combat.

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Mirrormade

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $1.67

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You may have Mirrormade enter the battlefield as a copy of any artifact or enchantment on the battlefield.

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Sol Ring

Market Price: $2.27

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{T}: Add {C}{C}.

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Painter's Servant

Market Price: $40.85

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As Painter's Servant enters the battlefield, choose a color.
All cards that aren't on the battlefield, spells, and permanents are the chosen color in addition to their other colors.

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Iceberg Cancrix

Color Identity:U

Market Price: $0.05

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Whenever another snow permanent enters the battlefield under your control, you may have target player mill two cards.

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The Most Degenerate Play

Let me introduce you to a play so nauseating, so disgusting, that I'm feeling queasy just writing about it.

May I introduce you to a little card called Traumatize? Normally Traumatize is an incredibly annoying spell when it resolves, however, when paired with Bruvac the Grandiloquent, it becomes lethal. Instead of milling half an opponent's library, their entire library is milled instead.

If we cannot locate this sorcery, fret not, for Fleet Swallower does the exact same thing upon attack. That's right! It doesn't even need to deal combat damage for the ability to trigger!

Traumatize is definitely a spell saved for a resilient opponent, or you can just cast it for the memes. While it only targets one opponent, the fun doesn't end there. You think we only cast this spell once? In blue? Are you kidding me?! We've got ways!

Cards like Jace, Vryn's Prodigy, Torrential Gearhulk, Snapcaster Mage and Spelltwine allow us to cast this card once more from our graveyard before Traumatize is forever exiled. To be honest, I don't blame those cards for exiling such a nasty little combo, however, we do have a way to return the spell back to our hand: Shipwreck Dowser. This creature is an Archaeomancer with prowess. While it can snag Cyclonic Rift or Pongify back, the most deviant play is to get Traumatize back for double trouble. Milling all your opponents completely with one spell? Sounds gross to me. Let's do it!

The Secret Spice

One year ago, Painter's Servant was unbanned in Commander. I want to dedicate this portion of this week's deck tech to remind you all why it was banned in the first place.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's wombo combo time! By itself, this little Scarecrow makes every card an additional color. Seems innocent enough, right? Let's pair this card with Sphinx's Tutelage or Grindstone. Now this card not only scares crows, but your opponents as well. Untap, upkeep, draw, mill an entire opponent's library. Dictate of Kruphix in play? Mill two libraries instead! Cast a Blue Sun's Zenith? Mill everyone! I'm starting to feel a bit scuzzy just thinking about it… or is that excitement? I can't tell.

Aw, C'mon! Lands, Too?!

I typically hear this phrase exclaimed to me when Altar of the Brood triggers, but this particular section is dedicated to two little crustaceans with mighty pinches (I couldn't help but think about Loreley when these two cuties were added to the list).

First we have Hedron Crab. This petty pincher mills upon landfall, and instead mills six cards thanks to Bruvac the Grandiloquent. Wonder why this list runs Snow-Covered Islands? Iceberg Cancrix! While this deck runs no other snow permanents, having a basic-land version of Hedron Crab felt extremely humorous while also valuable. I'd be feeling pretty crabby if I had to mill six or four cards every time my opponent played a land. Wouldn't you? Also they're both crabs, and I honestly thought that was super cute. Just imagine them strolling down the beach, claw in claw! 

Final Thoughts

When I settled upon Bruvac the Grandiloquent, many thoughts came to mind. The first thought was, "Will I brew Persistent Petitioners?" Petitioners felt like the strongest thing to brew, however, while building it I encouraged chat to pretend as though the card did not exist. If we had room for 10 petitioners, then that would be awesome. As the deck began to take shape and form, we filled out the deck quickly (112 cards before cuts were made) without Petitioners, which surprised me. Building outside the box proved to be incredibly fruitful (I have the wonderful folks in chat to thank for that).

The second thought that came to mind was "Will it be as strong as Oona, Queen of the Fae?" Oona is a powerful mill commander due to the fact that she generates tokens. Having bodies to attack and serve as blockers is incredibly important for every deck, especially one that focuses on a volatile ability. Once Bruvac the Grandiloquent was done being built, I was worried that I was missing out on stronger mill cards that were Dimir (any of the Ashiok, Nightmare Muse, Mind Grind, Consuming Aberration and Sire of Stagnation just to name a few).

Despite lacking access to another color, Bruvac the Grandiloquent is the strongest mill commander printed to date. At this moment, he currently sits at $40 on the TCGplayer Marketplace, and I am honestly unsure if it's due to Jumpstart's elusiveness in paper or the card's sheer power. 

You're at the end of the article, and you've had nine minutes to mill it over. So, what do you say? Are you ready to mill about?