Flayer? I hardly even know her!
What? Nothing? Not even a chuckle? I'll have you know that I worked on that article setup for a good two minutes! You wound me, dear reader. You truly do.
Now, I may be able to take the cold shoulder during a set, but this week's commander surely can't. You know him and you love him (at least, you'd better): it's Blim, Comedic Genius! You heard me right! THAT Blim! Famous for slaying the crowd with yucks and projectiles, our commander truly puts the laughter in slaughter.
All chuckles aside, Blim is one of those commanders that draws you in. While he may be a bit of a pain to play via webcam commander, Blim is actually perfect to play this holiday season. Not only does he give the gift of laughter, but he gives the gift of our permanents! He very much likes to pull the old switcheroo, if you catch my drift. Typical Switcheroo commanders include the newly printed Inniaz, the Gale Force and the Zedruu the Greathearted—however, their abilities lacked the spice that Rakdos typically adds to a commander. Yeah, we can give them things that hurt, but the extra sting that goes along with Blim makes him stand out among the rest.
Blim's punchline: cast hurtful things and give them to the audience member that doesn't laugh the loudest!
All good things come with a price. Every blocker, every extra card draw, even every tutor. When facing Blim, gifts should be received with extreme caution. While some of the cards we can give to our opponents seem relatively harmless, it must be noted that Blim's life loss ability will make them regret accepting the gift either way. Let's start with some of our least impactful gifts: Alpine Guide and Goblin Cadets.
Alpine Guide is a really cute card, allowing us to tutor for a Mountain. When given to an opponent via Blim, his only caveat is that he has to attack. Even if he leaves the battlefield, our opponent has to sacrifice a Mountain. This may not always be the case, as not every opponent will play red (although they should because red is the best color ever printed in Magic). If played strategically, we can convince our opponent that we gave them the gift of a 3/3 attacker with little to no drawback (save for the life they'll lose thanks to Blim).
Another such harmless gift is Goblin Cadets. These little weirdos are hysterically perfect for Blim. While they can deal combat damage, if they block or are blocked they immediately hop to another opponent. These green meanies serve as loss of life that keeps hopping around. They definitely understand what it means to share the love...or...hate.
Let's talk about our super secret agents. These two lurk in the shadows and if need be, strike during a particularly grim performance. I of course am talking about Sleeper Agent and Xantcha, Sleeper Agent. While it's humorous that they have the same name, these two cards are somewhat different. While they both enter the battlefield under someone else's control, each is able to bring something deadly and annoying to the table. Sleeper Agent may deal 2 damage to it's controller during each upkeep—however, this ability only happens once a rotation. Xantcha, however, does so much more! Xantcha's ability is repeatable by any opponent, even us, and allows us to draw a card as well. When played strategically, our opponents will be more than willing to draw some cards and hurt someone else.
The final needful card I'd like to cover is Captive Audience. First off, this card is 100% a flavor win! You cannot tell me that Blim is not performing some atrocity in front of those horrified people. Function-wise, this card is amazing. It's automatically given to an opponent without Blim's ability, and the randomness of it screams Rakdos. While the ultimate choice is for their life total to become 4, this card is obscenely perfect when paired with Blim.
So we've covered some of our nicer things to give to our opponents, it's now time for us to dive deep into our more heinous tricks. Fair warning, this section holds some mean cards. Prepare your barf bags as we dive in.
Let's start with one of my favorite cards in this deck: Aggressive Mining. While I don't condone blatant land destruction, I do enjoy controlling our opponent's ability to play them. Oh, you wanna play your deck? TOO BAD!
Speaking of controlling how our opponents play, I also run two other cards that will end playgroups as we know them: Steel Golem and Grid Monitor. While these two cards are the same, running two of them is imperative in this deck. Playing Blim gives us a bit of a disadvantage. We cannot hide behind the guise of friendly colors like Phelddagrif hides behind Bant. We're playing Rakdos. Our intentions are very clear. Being able to prevent further beatdowns with creatures our opponents will play is important for our survival. The additional loss of life and discard is just gravy after the point.
So we've covered controlling our opponent's lands and creatures. But what about their spells in general? What about their draw steps? Well, we aren't done yet! Next we have Colfenor's Plans. This enchantment is just one of many oddities printed in Lorwyn, and yet it seems to be stunning in this brew. When given to our opponents, they no longer are able to draw cards and can only play one spell per turn. While this may initially cause us to exile 7 cards, the payoff seems too good to be true when given away.
Our final two cards I want to highlight are incredibly weird and incredibly fun. Starting off we have Yuroka, the Prisoner. I knew of this card long before this brew and I always thought it was hysterical. It is definitely a product of its block. It is almost guaranteed that our opponents won't be playing many Ogres, if any at all! Sliding Yuroka to a problematic boardstate and killing it serves as the saltiest of board wipes.
Our final board wipe is Plague Reaper. Whether we pay the cost for its ability or simply hand it off via Blim, this card is much easier to pull off Yuroka. If the opponent cannot get rid of it in time for their end step, all they worked hard to build up on their battlefield will be all for naught.
Magic: The Gathering TCG Deck - Comedic Timing by Chase Carroll
'Comedic Timing' - constructed deck list and prices for the Magic: The Gathering Trading Card Game from TCGplayer Infinite!
Created By: Chase Carroll
Event:
Rank:
Commander
Market Price: $436.70
Dust Corona
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.18
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/14716_200w.jpg
Enchant creature Enchanted creature gets +2/+0 and can't be blocked by creatures with flying.
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Bazaar Trader
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $3.25
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/34336_200w.jpg
{T}: Target player gains control of target artifact, creature, or land you control.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/worldwake/bazaar-trader
Tainted Peak
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $3.94
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/9630_200w.jpg
{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. Activate this ability only if you control a Swamp.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/torment/tainted-peak
Bloodstained Mire
Market Price: $24.39
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/92830_200w.jpg
{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Bloodstained Mire: Search your library for a Swamp or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/khans-of-tarkir/bloodstained-mire
Crypt Ghast
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $6.90
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/94301_200w.jpg
Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay {W/B}. If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
Whenever you tap a Swamp for mana, add an additional {B}.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2014/crypt-ghast
Humble Defector
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.06
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/227183_200w.jpg
{T}: Draw two cards. Target opponent gains control of Humble Defector. Activate this ability only during your turn.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/humble-defector
Sol Ring
Market Price: $2.36
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/227075_200w.jpg
{T}: Add {C}{C}.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/sol-ring
Fireshrieker
Market Price: $0.21
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/227369_200w.jpg
Equipped creature has double strike. (It deals both first-strike and regular combat damage.)
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/fireshrieker
Feed the Swarm
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.69
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/221953_200w.jpg
Destroy target creature or enchantment an opponent controls. You lose life equal to that permanent's converted mana cost.
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Arcane Signet
Market Price: $2.31
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/226694_200w.jpg
{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/arcane-signet
Rakdos Charm
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $0.93
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/140017_200w.jpg
Choose one — • Exile all cards from target player's graveyard. • Destroy target artifact. • Each creature deals 1 damage to its controller.
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Demonic Pact
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $3.96
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/100235_200w.jpg
At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one that hasn't been chosen — • Demonic Pact deals 4 damage to any target and you gain 4 life. • Target opponent discards two cards. • Draw two cards. • You lose the game.
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Vandalblast
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $5.32
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/108061_200w.jpg
Destroy target artifact you don't control.
Overload {4}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change its text by replacing all instances of "target" with "each.")Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2015/vandalblast
Contested War Zone
Market Price: $0.31
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/39185_200w.jpg
Whenever a creature deals combat damage to you, that creature's controller gains control of Contested War Zone.
{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Attacking creatures get +1/+0 until end of turn.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/mirrodin-besieged/contested-war-zone
Crawlspace
Market Price: $9.79
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/72074_200w.jpg
No more than two creatures can attack you each combat.
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Dockside Extortionist
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $41.51
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/196486_200w.jpg
When Dockside Extortionist enters the battlefield, create X Treasure tokens, where X is the number of artifacts and enchantments your opponents control. (Treasure tokens are artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2019/dockside-extortionist
Geier Reach Sanitarium
Market Price: $1.04
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/196744_200w.jpg
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Each player draws a card, then discards a card.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2019/geier-reach-sanitarium
Captive Audience
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $4.93
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/183314_200w.jpg
Captive Audience enters the battlefield under the control of an opponent of your choice. At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one that hasn't been chosen — • Your life total becomes 4. • Discard your hand. • Each opponent creates five 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens.
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Strionic Resonator
Market Price: $3.48
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/196447_200w.jpg
{2}, {T}: Copy target triggered ability you control. You may choose new targets for the copy. (A triggered ability uses the words "when," "whenever," or "at.")Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2019/strionic-resonator
Geth's Grimoire
Market Price: $1.85
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/11635_200w.jpg
Whenever an opponent discards a card, you may draw a card.
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Immortal Coil
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.42
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/27697_200w.jpg
{T}, Exile two cards from your graveyard: Draw a card.
If damage would be dealt to you, prevent that damage. Exile a card from your graveyard for each 1 damage prevented this way.
When there are no cards in your graveyard, you lose the game.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/shards-of-alara/immortal-coil
Steel Golem
Market Price: $0.95
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/15340_200w.jpg
You can't cast creature spells.
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Goblin Cadets
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.32
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/47441_200w.jpg
Whenever Goblin Cadets blocks or becomes blocked, target opponent gains control of it. (This removes Goblin Cadets from combat.)
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Alpine Guide
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.06
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/191636_200w.jpg
When Alpine Guide enters the battlefield, you may search your library for a Mountain card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle your library. Alpine Guide attacks each combat if able. When Alpine Guide leaves the battlefield, sacrifice a Mountain.
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Xantcha, Sleeper Agent
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $16.54
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/170804_200w.jpg
Xantcha, Sleeper Agent enters the battlefield under the control of an opponent of your choice.
Xantcha attacks each combat if able and can't attack its owner or planeswalkers its owner controls.
{3}: Xantcha's controller loses 2 life and you draw a card. Any player may activate this ability.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2018/xantcha-sleeper-agent
Colfenor's Plans
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.34
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/15451_200w.jpg
When Colfenor's Plans enters the battlefield, exile the top seven cards of your library face down. You may look at the cards exiled with Colfenor's Plans, and you may play lands and cast spells from among those cards. Skip your draw step. You can't cast more than one spell each turn.
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Chaos Warp
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $2.00
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/212487_200w.jpg
The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.
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Command Tower
Market Price: $0.18
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/221357_200w.jpg
{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/command-tower-350
Howling Mine
Market Price: $4.49
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/124539_200w.jpg
At the beginning of each player's draw step, if Howling Mine is untapped, that player draws an additional card.
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Yukora, the Prisoner
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.27
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/12392_200w.jpg
When Yukora, the Prisoner leaves the battlefield, sacrifice all non-Ogre creatures you control.
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Mountain
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.99
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/230467_200w.jpg
({T}: Add {R}.)Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/kaldheim/mountain
Swamp
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $1.04
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/230466_200w.jpg
({T}: Add {B}.)Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/kaldheim/swamp
Rix Maadi, Dungeon Palace
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $0.10
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/196766_200w.jpg
{T}: Add {C}.
{1}{B}{R}, {T}: Each player discards a card. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2019/rix-maadi-dungeon-palace
Myriad Landscape
Market Price: $0.30
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/226783_200w.jpg
Myriad Landscape enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Myriad Landscape: Search your library for up to two basic land cards that share a land type, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle your library.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/myriad-landscape
Tibalt, the Fiend-Blooded
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $1.20
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/67837_200w.jpg
+1: Draw a card, then discard a card at random. −4: Tibalt, the Fiend-Blooded deals damage equal to the number of cards in target player's hand to that player. −6: Gain control of all creatures until end of turn. Untap them. They gain haste until end of turn.
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Torment of Hailfire
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $10.00
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/135074_200w.jpg
Repeat the following process X times. Each opponent loses 3 life unless that player sacrifices a nonland permanent or discards a card.
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Blim, Comedic Genius
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $0.15
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/226410_200w.jpg
Flying Whenever Blim, Comedic Genius deals combat damage to a player, that player gains control of target permanent you control. Then each player loses life and discards cards equal to the number of permanents they control but don't own.
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Anvil of Bogardan
Market Price: $35.97
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/5802_200w.jpg
Players have no maximum hand size. At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws an additional card, then discards a card.
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Oath of Lim-Dûl
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.38
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/4821_200w.jpg
Whenever you lose life, for each 1 life you lost, sacrifice a permanent other than Oath of Lim-Dûl unless you discard a card. (Damage dealt to you causes you to lose life.)
{B}{B}: Draw a card.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/ice-age/oath-of-lim-dul
Master of the Feast
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.76
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/82235_200w.jpg
Flying At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent draws a card.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/journey-into-nyx/master-of-the-feast
Deflecting Swat
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $32.83
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/212191_200w.jpg
If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost. You may choose new targets for target spell or ability.
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Swiftfoot Boots
Market Price: $1.85
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/226886_200w.jpg
Equipped creature has hexproof and haste.
Equip {1}Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/swiftfoot-boots
Shizo, Death's Storehouse
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $12.37
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/12167_200w.jpg
{T}: Add {B}.
{B}, {T}: Target legendary creature gains fear until end of turn. (It can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.)Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/champions-of-kamigawa/shizo-deaths-storehouse
Rakdos Signet
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $1.28
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/212350_200w.jpg
{1}, {T}: Add {B}{R}.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2020/rakdos-signet
Dragonskull Summit
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $4.14
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/142035_200w.jpg
Dragonskull Summit enters the battlefield tapped unless you control a Swamp or a Mountain.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/ixalan/dragonskull-summit
Trailblazer's Boots
Market Price: $1.75
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/33454_200w.jpg
Equipped creature has nonbasic landwalk. (It can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a nonbasic land.)
Equip {2}Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/zendikar/trailblazers-boots
Blasphemous Act
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $1.92
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/226866_200w.jpg
This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/blasphemous-act
Sleeper Agent
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.70
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/15320_200w.jpg
When Sleeper Agent enters the battlefield, target opponent gains control of it. At the beginning of your upkeep, Sleeper Agent deals 2 damage to you.
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Wishclaw Talisman
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $1.16
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/198745_200w.jpg
Wishclaw Talisman enters the battlefield with three wish counters on it.
{1}, {T}, Remove a wish counter from Wishclaw Talisman: Search your library for a card, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library. An opponent gains control of Wishclaw Talisman. Activate this ability only during your turn.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/throne-of-eldraine/wishclaw-talisman
Sulfurous Springs
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $15.70
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/15345_200w.jpg
{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. Sulfurous Springs deals 1 damage to you.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/10th-edition/sulfurous-springs
Harmless Offering
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.49
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/120005_200w.jpg
Target opponent gains control of target permanent you control.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/eldritch-moon/harmless-offering
Custody Battle
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.39
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/10587_200w.jpg
Enchant creature Enchanted creature has "At the beginning of your upkeep, target opponent gains control of this creature unless you sacrifice a land."
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/onslaught/custody-battle
Rogue's Passage
Market Price: $0.39
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/227325_200w.jpg
{T}: Add {C}.
{4}, {T}: Target creature can't be blocked this turn.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/rogues-passage
Goldnight Castigator
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.63
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/115985_200w.jpg
Flying, haste If a source would deal damage to you, it deals double that damage to you instead. If a source would deal damage to Goldnight Castigator, it deals double that damage to Goldnight Castigator instead.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/shadows-over-innistrad/goldnight-castigator
Helm of the Host
Market Price: $11.19
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/162254_200w.jpg
At the beginning of combat on your turn, create a token that's a copy of equipped creature, except the token isn't legendary if equipped creature is legendary. That token gains haste.
Equip {5}Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/dominaria/helm-of-the-host
Grid Monitor
Market Price: $1.10
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/11497_200w.jpg
You can't cast creature spells.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/mirrodin/grid-monitor
Mishra's War Machine
Market Price: $0.28
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/1850_200w.jpg
Banding (Any creatures with banding, and up to one without, can attack in a band. Bands are blocked as a group. If any creatures with banding you control are blocking or being blocked by a creature, you divide that creature's combat damage, not its controller, among any of the creatures it's being blocked by or is blocking.) At the beginning of your upkeep, Mishra's War Machine deals 3 damage to you unless you discard a card. If Mishra's War Machine deals damage to you this way, tap it.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/fourth-edition/mishras-war-machine
Lightning Greaves
Market Price: $3.70
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/218837_200w.jpg
Equipped creature has haste and shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Equip {0}Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/double-masters/lightning-greaves
Megrim
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.37
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/32667_200w.jpg
Whenever an opponent discards a card, Megrim deals 2 damage to that player.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/magic-2010-m10/megrim
Akroan Horse
Market Price: $0.30
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/124385_200w.jpg
Defender When Akroan Horse enters the battlefield, an opponent gains control of it. At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent creates a 1/1 white Soldier creature token.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2016/akroan-horse
Kazuul, Tyrant of the Cliffs
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $3.12
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/124552_200w.jpg
Whenever a creature an opponent controls attacks, if you're the defending player, create a 3/3 red Ogre creature token unless that creature's controller pays {3}.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2016/kazuul-tyrant-of-the-cliffs
Blood Crypt
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $15.33
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/182838_200w.jpg
({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As Blood Crypt enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/ravnica-allegiance/blood-crypt
Pyromancer's Swath
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.50
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/68386_200w.jpg
If an instant or sorcery source you control would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus 2 to that permanent or player instead. At the beginning of each end step, discard your hand.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/modern-masters/pyromancers-swath
Tinybones, Trinket Thief
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $26.41
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/215966_200w.jpg
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent discarded a card this turn, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.
{4}{B}{B}: Each opponent with no cards in hand loses 10 life.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/jumpstart/tinybones-trinket-thief
Abyssal Persecutor
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.51
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/145399_200w.jpg
Flying, trample You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/iconic-masters/abyssal-persecutor
Bojuka Bog
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $1.70
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/212363_200w.jpg
Bojuka Bog enters the battlefield tapped.
When Bojuka Bog enters the battlefield, exile all cards from target player's graveyard.
{T}: Add {B}.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2020/bojuka-bog
Heartless Summoning
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $1.41
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/55979_200w.jpg
Creature spells you cast cost {2} less to cast.
Creatures you control get -1/-1.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/innistrad/heartless-summoning
Aggressive Mining
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.41
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/91034_200w.jpg
You can't play lands. Sacrifice a land: Draw two cards. Activate this ability only once each turn.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/magic-2015-m15/aggressive-mining
Temple of Malice
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $1.13
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/206635_200w.jpg
Temple of Malice enters the battlefield tapped.
When Temple of Malice enters the battlefield, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.)
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/theros-beyond-death/temple-of-malice
Font of Mythos
Market Price: $4.02
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/28538_200w.jpg
At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws two additional cards.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/conflux/font-of-mythos
Waste Not
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $11.07
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/124680_200w.jpg
Whenever an opponent discards a creature card, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.
Whenever an opponent discards a land card, add {B}{B}.
Whenever an opponent discards a noncreature, nonland card, draw a card.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2016/waste-not
Siege-Gang Commander
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.77
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/162180_200w.jpg
When Siege-Gang Commander enters the battlefield, create three 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens.
{1}{R}, Sacrifice a Goblin: Siege-Gang Commander deals 2 damage to any target.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/dominaria/siege-gang-commander
Painful Quandary
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $13.98
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/36379_200w.jpg
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, that player loses 5 life unless they discard a card.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/scars-of-mirrodin/painful-quandary
Plague Reaver
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.18
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/226873_200w.jpg
At the beginning of your end step, sacrifice each other creature you control. Discard two cards, Sacrifice Plague Reaver: Choose target opponent. Return Plague Reaver to the battlefield under that player's control at the beginning of their next upkeep.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/plague-reaver
Malakir Rebirth // Malakir Mire
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.56
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/222103_200w.jpg
Choose target creature. You lose 2 life. Until end of turn, that creature gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control."
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/zendikar-rising/malakir-rebirth
Homeward Path
Market Price: $13.15
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/124536_200w.jpg
{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Each player gains control of all creatures they own.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2016/homeward-path
Deadly Tempest
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.38
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/212173_200w.jpg
Destroy all creatures. Each player loses life equal to the number of creatures they controlled that were destroyed this way.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-2020/deadly-tempest
Forbidden Crypt
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.35
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/2571_200w.jpg
If you would draw a card, return a card from your graveyard to your hand instead. If you can't, you lose the game. If a card would be put into your graveyard from anywhere, exile that card instead.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/classic-sixth-edition/forbidden-crypt
Liliana's Caress
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $6.04
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/35533_200w.jpg
Whenever an opponent discards a card, that player loses 2 life.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/magic-2011-m11/lilianas-caress
Kookus
Color Identity:R
Market Price: $0.48
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/5875_200w.jpg
Trample
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you don't control a creature named Keeper of Kookus, Kookus deals 3 damage to you and attacks this turn if able.
{R}: Kookus gets +1/+0 until end of turn.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/visions/kookus
Gutwrencher Oni
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $0.11
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/12007_200w.jpg
Trample At the beginning of your upkeep, discard a card if you don't control an Ogre.
Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/champions-of-kamigawa/gutwrencher-oni
War Room
Market Price: $2.26
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/226829_200w.jpg
{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}, Pay life equal to the number of colors in your commanders' color identity: Draw a card.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/commander-legends/war-room
Koskun Falls
Color Identity:B
Market Price: $10.70
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/4517_200w.jpg
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Koskun Falls unless you tap an untapped creature you control.
Creatures can't attack you unless their controller pays {2} for each creature they control that's attacking you.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/homelands/koskun-falls
Luxury Suite
Color Identity:B,R
Market Price: $19.81
ImageURL: https://tcgplayer-cdn.tcgplayer.com/product/166661_200w.jpg
Luxury Suite enters the battlefield tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.Buy This Card! https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/battlebond/luxury-suite
When deckbuilding, I tend to have a bad case of reading half the card. I guess I just get too excited. Blim does more than give away all the bad stuff we have. In fact, he makes our opponents lose life and discard cards as well. When the first steps were taken to build around Blim, we almost skipped over this piece. Loss of life is good, but discard in commander seems absolutely bonkers good. The support for it is staggering, and we have ways to either trigger discard in this deck or make them regret discarding. Either way, it's going to be a bloodbath.
When I say discard, the enchantments Megrim and Liliana's Caress come to mind. They should! They're insanely good cards, forcing the opponent to lose 2 life whenever a card is discarded. Paired with Blim, they can be discarding two, three, or four cards at a time, thus making the damage scarier than a slight shock. Another synergistic card is Waste Not. While this card doesn't necessarily hurt our opponents, it serves as token generation, card draw, and even a form of ramp. If we are making them discard consistently, then we are able to get significant value from this enchantment.
Another way for us to gain value from our opponents discarding is Geth's Grimoire. Card draw is necessary for a deck to achieve victory, and without it the game can go stagnant. If our opponents are consistently discarding, we are drawing into more terrible nasties to give away at our leisure. Our final discard engine is Anvil of Bogardan. This artifact is definitely meant to be a Trojan Horse (not to be confused with Akroan Horse). Both it and Font of Mythos are meant to appear friendly at first—after all, we draw an extra card! However, they are meant to immediately discard. Initially we want our opponents to view this as giving them options, however, with Megrim or Waste Not out, these artifacts can be incredibly fatal, nearing them to a grisly end.
Forbidden Coil
Games have to end. This phrase is usually uttered when someone is about to win the game. However, in this deck, it should only be said when we are about to end someone's career with some of the most fun jank ever. Thanks to Blim, we can pass out some of Magic's weirdest and funniest "lose the game" cards ever printed: Forbidden Crypt and Immortal Coil. I had never heard of them until they were recommended by chat on stream. When given to an opponent, these cards turn an empty graveyard into a death sentence. Paired with a Bojuka Bog or a Rakdos Charm, these pieces are a hysterical way to end the game for one unlucky opponent.
We aren't done just yet. This deck runs another way for an opponent to lose the game. To be honest, I find it to be one of Magic's most interesting cards ever printed: Demonic Pact. Much like a deal made with a demon, this card is very attractive at first. Card draw, damage, life gain, and discard. This enchantment seems too good to be true….and it is. The final choice is a game ender. Literally! The ideal play of this card is to cast it, reap three of its four benefits, then ship it off to another opponent for them to reap as well, until they finally bite the dust. It seems a bit cruel, sure, but at least they are able to experience some of the good stuff before the devil calls on them for their debt.
Normally I have an MVP section in my articles dedicated to the card that shines from among the rest. However, I did not build this deck alone. While I normally build decks with chat, I had a guest tag along to help me navigate the fires of Rakdos. For the initial stream of Always Be Brewing, I was joined by Meghan. As a rule, we allowed each other one card in the entire 99 that we could make an executive decision to keep. It could not be cut, nor could it be swapped. Looking back, I love this concept, as it felt like a signature we left on the final list. So, what exactly were our Creator's Choices?
Before we dove into the meat of the deck, Meghan proclaimed that she had the best bad card for this brew. This piece, she declared, was one she lovingly titled "Mishra's Meme Machine". While this may not exactly be the legal card name, this card definitely deserves the nickname. To start, this card has Banding...YES, BANDING! This alone should show you all why Meghan wanted this piece slotted in. However, it should also be noted that this card isn't bad in Blim. When given away, it fuels our discard pieces (Megrim, Waste Not, Geth's Grimoire) and can possibly deal 3 damage to our opponent which can ultimately deny them a blocker later down the line. Did I mention it has Banding?
My Creator's Choice is definitely a meme in its own as well. When I read this card, I yelped. I thought this was hysterical and I knew I had to run it. When cuts came around, I quickly vetoed Kookus. He was my ride or die. This Djinn is guaranteed to deal 3 damage to our opponents because they don't control the top-tier commander staple Keeper of Kookus. This is endlessly amusing to me. If you don't have his keeper, Kookus gets mad and pings you for 3. While yes, he is a decent beater that our opponents can pump, his burn ability coupled with the meme vibes I get from the card made him a no-brainer for me. Also...how can you not chuckle at the flavor text on Keeper of Kookus?
Blim appears to be an intimidating commander to build around, and nom it's not because he can't handle hecklers. Rakdos has a lot of good cards that come with a cost. However, a lot of those cards are still good. Cards like Liege of the Pit and Lord of the Pit can really hurt our opponents, but we still give them big attackers and blockers that can make it difficult for us to make contact with Blim. This made the list incredibly fragile. A balance was definitely needed. Despite this tricky balance, brewing this list with Meghan flowed a lot smoother. As it turns out, Rakdos has a lot of cards that like to hurt their controllers. Funny, right?