I play a lot of off-the-wall decks here on Mining Modern. I'm sure opponents who get paired up against me on Magic Online go through a few thoughts – first, I'm sure they appreciate the easy win they're probably going to get as I play some jank, but secondly there is always that inkling that they may be in for a wild ride and could lose to something downright silly.
And, sometimes, they are the ones to beat me with something even sillier.
That's what Jared did last week when I faced off against his crazy five-color aggro deck. He was nice enough to reach out and share his list with me, and it was way too much fun to pass up.
Given access to all five colors, it's pretty clear that there's quite a bit we can do with them. After all, who doesn't want to play Tidehollow Sculler, Spell Queller and the almighty Siege Rhino in the same deck?
The hard part, of course, is getting the mana to work. Playsets of Birds of Paradise and Noble Hierarch are a given, but that's not enough. But, surprisingly enough, the mana to make this work in Modern is actually pretty easy, and not nearly as painful as you think – four Mana Confluence are the only lands that deal us damage.
Ancient Ziggurat and Pillar of the Paruns are the gems here. With so many "spell" effects stapled to creatures nowadays, Ancient Ziggurat is better than it has ever been. No need to produce blue mana for countermagic when it comes stapled to Spell Queller. Likewise, there are so many creatures to choose from in Modern – and the multicolored ones are typically the best anyway due to their "drawback" – that Pillar of the Paruns doesn't seem to have much of a downside at all.
Gemstone Mine and Reflecting Pool – which can freely make any color of mana with any of the aforementioned lands out – round out the mana base alongside Razorverge Thicket, and just like that we see it's really not that hard to make the mana work.
There's enough removal in Path to Exile and Abrupt Decay to keep opponents honest, and the creature base combines some of the best disruptive and resilient elements (Tidehollow Sculler, Spell Queller, Qasali Pridemage and Voice of Resurgence) with some very powerful aggro pieces. A second-turn Anafenza the Foremost enables the beatdown quite quickly, and doing so alongside Mantis Rider and Falkenrath Aristocrats means opponents are taking a beating fast. Siege Rhino, of course, does everything from attacking opponents to padding our life total to providing essentially three points of burn to close out games.
Falkenrath Aristocrat looks a bit odd, but I was very impressed with the card. Not only is it a hasty four-power threat, but it also protects itself against board wipes and can trade in Voice of Resurgence for a big token when needed. Even more, it provides a "combo" of sorts with Tidehollow Sculler and Spell Queller. By responding to the enters-the-battlefield trigger of either card by sacrificing them to Aristocrats, you cause the leaves-the-battlefield ability to trigger first, returning the exiled card to them. Of course, nothing has been exiled yet, so that fails. The first ability then resolves, exiling the chosen card forever. It's a neat synergy that really makes this deck trickier than it seems at first.
The sideboard cleans up the problematic matchups, with more disruption including Sin Collector and Gaddock Teeg for combo or control, and Izzet Staticaster, Kitchen Finks and Kor Firewalker for the aggro decks. While the deck can struggle against a streamlined midrange deck that out-values its creatures, this list has the tools to take on anything in the metagame, and for a pile of five-color creatures it's been quite impressive.
Thanks for reading,